1. Headship of the husband is a God-given role, not a human-imposed or husband-imposed role. The moment you realize that it’s God that gave him the role and not that he gave himself, submission will become a joyful act.
2. Headship of the husband is actually a responsibility. It’s not a position to raise shoulders about or something for wives to envy. It’s actually a really great responsibility that the Lord placed on the shoulder of the husband.
See some of them
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
Ephesians 5:25-30 NKJV
3. To be the head means to be the leader. Headship simply means leadership. In order to create order within any system, there’s need for clear leadership, and the leadership responsibility has been clearly given to the husband.
Even within the Trinity, one person is head…
But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
I Corinthians 11:3 NKJV
And it does not remove the fact that they are one…
Jesus said, I and my father are one…
So In other words, the wife is not inferior to the husband, even though the husband is the head of the wife. So far, we have been able to establish that submission is the correct response to authority. As a wife, it is accepting our husbands God given authority, because we know that he is our head. There’s need to be aware of the hierarchical structure in marriage relationship. The husband is the head. This awareness should cause you to submit. And that’s why for the single sisters, you should not marry a man you cannot submit to, or a man that you think cannot lead you, or a man that you do not perceive as head. When you are in the relationship, and you already know that you cannot follow his leadership, or perceive him as head, it’s better to have a rethink about the relationship. If you are in a relationship, ensure he’s someone you perceive and receive as head, and can wilfully submit to, so that submission does not become a struggle. The reason for the hierarchical structure is for the purpose of order, not because the husband is better than the wife, or because the male gender is better than the female gender.
(Notice wives submit to their own husbands, not to every husband)
If you want to understand the relationship between husband and wife, look at the relationship between Christ and the Church. Is Christ better than the church? No! You as the church submits wilfully to Christ based on the understanding that Christ is Lord. You must receive your husband as head, and wilfully submit to him. In fact, Christ and the church are one, the same way the husband and the wife are one but not same. We have differences in our roles and our responsibilities.
What submission is not
1. Submission is not to all husbands. Submission is to your own husband. Every husband is the head of his wife, not the head of every wife.
2. Submission is not slavery. It is important to know that you submit doesn’t imply that you are a slave or that you are inferior to your husband. These are some reasons why women fight against submitting. Like I said, it’s not even a gender thing, it’s a responsibility thing. If God had made part of our wifehood duties headship, then it would have been required of the husband to submit to our authority. I like to describe submission this way; Imagine if you are in a public bus, you allow the driver to drive the bus. You might even know how to drive, but once you have chosen him as your driver, you allow him. Imagine struggling with the steering wheel with him. It will lead to accident. When you begin to struggle with the wheel is when you sense that the driver does not know how to drive or does not know where he’s going to.
3. Submission is not living in fear (it should be done voluntarily with joy, as service to the Lord). It’s not being afraid of our husbands, or not being able to voice opinions or express views. Of course, we understand that there is a part of friendship in marriage, that entails communication, agreement and even disagreements.
4. Submission is not reckless obedience (that is obeying your husband as against God’s word).
What does submission entail?
1. Following the leadership of your husband
2. Supporting him
3. Encouraging him
4. Respecting him
5. Devotion to him
6. Cheering him on
7 Adapting your journey to him
8. Honouring and affirming his leadership